


Ridiculous

by CaptainAmericaontheTardis



Series: Middle Earth Precinct [2]
Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, M/M, Slow Build, working together for the first time
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-21
Updated: 2015-04-21
Packaged: 2018-03-25 03:18:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,528
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3794668
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaptainAmericaontheTardis/pseuds/CaptainAmericaontheTardis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dwalins' stuck alone with Bofur and Bilbo is stuck with Thorin, how could anything go wrong?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ridiculous

"So, what do you think Oakenshield is going to do with this place?" Bofur drawled, leaning half over Dwalin's desk, looking casually over the sergeant's papers which he had previously been trying to read. 

"i'm just askin', I thought you might know something about him." He continued, innocently, picking up a pen and clicking it a few times. 

Dwalin pulled the writing utensil out of his hands with a loud sigh, Bilbo and Thorin had been busy handling the robbery case and Bofur had turned his attention to the only other person stuck at the department for the day. Disappointed that his partner had been stolen by the brooding new captain and finished with his work hours early thanks to fewer distractions, the ever curious detective with the goofy hat had resorted to prodding and questioning the Sergeant. 

Thankfully for the hatted detective, only he could get away with the invasion of personal space and infiltrating Dwalin's precious bubble of privacy. Armed with stubborn positivity and unrelenting boredom, Bofur was impervious even when the sergeant snapped at him or threatened to take his hat and throw it into a fireplace. 

"I've told you before, you loon, I know as much about the captain as you do. Now please, will you leave me be and let me do my work?"

Bofur sighed and rolled off his desk, plopping another pen that he had stolen back into the glass cup that held all of Dwalin's pens. "Alright, alright, I'll leave you be. You don't have to ask me twice." He trailed off, moving around the desks and lounging back on his chair. 

Dwalin rolled his eyes at that statement, grumbling to himself, "No, I have to ask 80 times apparently..." Bofur didn't hear him over his humming a tune repeatedly which Dwalin was thankful for since that probably would have been just the incentive that the detective needed to wonder back with a witty comment. 

Dwalin let out a sigh of relief as Bofur wondered out of the room and into the halls, no doubt on his way to bother Balin in evidence. If it had been anyone else, Dwalin probably would have chucked them out on the spot, fortunately, Bofur just had that certain charm about him that Dwalin couldn't resist. Even if he was a pain in the ass.

.  
.  
.

"Thorin! Can you slow down for just a second? It's lunchtime and I didn't even get to eat all my breakfast.. Thanks to you.." Bilbo stopped on the sidewalk, bending down and resting his palms on his legs, breathing heavily. 

Thorin glanced back but didn't stop his stride in whatever direction he was hell bent on going. The shorter detective groaned as his attempts to reduce their speed bounced right off the arrogant captain. As had most of his attempts to suggest anything.

He stood back up with some discomfort and then trailed on behind the captain, "Thorin, If we could just talk to those witnesses outside the store I'm sure we could come up with something!"

Oakenshield waved a dismissive hand without looking behind him, "I talked to them already."

"That's what I'm afraid of..." Bilbo ran forward, catching up with the taller man just as he stopped short and turned to the detective with the air of the hothead which he was, Bilbo actually flew past him only to turn back, breathing hard, to face the captain. 

"What does that mean?" Thorin asked, voice rising. 

Maybe Thorin's sharp tone would have caught Bilbo off guard or made him back away but he was hungry and he was tired so the words rolled off him like water rolled off the ducks that Ori and Dori were currently corralling by the fields. He stood back up, putting a waving finger in front of Oakenshield's face. 

"It means you're intimidating and you rub people the wrong way. Not a criticism just a fact, sir." He took another deep breath, adding sarcastically "And if you used your usual 'Charming personality' on them I doubt they would have told you anything."

"You're stepping out of line, Detective." Thorin growled, leaning over the shorter man. 

Bilbo wasn't phased, the smaller man stood his ground, voice getting increasingly done with everything in his life, especially Thorin Oakenshield. 

"Yes. I know! Three straight days of dealing with Thorin Oakenshield will do that to a person. Now can we, please, get something to bloody eat!?" He didn't wait for an answer and instead stomped away defiantly towards the nearest place of food. 

Thorin's eyebrow raised as he watched the detective stomp away, letting out a slightly impressed "Hhumph" before giving in and following the detective. 

They (Or more accurately Bilbo) found some place to eat and sat down in a corner, both men staying uncharacteristically quiet as they got their food. Thorin picked at the food on his plate, glancing up between bites as the smaller man, still apparently angry, shoved food into his mouth, glaring at everything in the restaurant. 

Occasionally he would take a sip of his drink, wrinkling his nose as he had to look at his boss for too long. A second later he would go back to enjoying his meal, trying very hard to ignore the man sitting across from him, looking slightly sheepish. 

The detective ate the last chip on his plate and inhaled deeply, closing his eyes and wiping his mouth clean. He looked up, dropping the napkin on the plate and wiggling his nose slightly. 

"Captain I would like to apologize for my earlier behavior." He stated almost mechanically.

Thorin nodded sharply, "Just don't let it happen again." He stood up, plate half full and turned around in a defiant flourish. Bilbo groaned and shook a balled up fist behind the captain's back. 

.  
.  
.

"You caught him!" Bofur ran to Thorin and Bilbo as they walked in to the station, a man being guided in front of them, handled by Thorin, of course, scowling while the captain seemed to be looking at the ceiling for some reason. 

Thorin didn't acknowledge the detective and instead just went straight to the holding cells, still holding his chin up as if he were in a photoshoot. Bofur's excitement wasn't dulled by the captain's lack of interest and instead he just ran to Bilbo. 

"How was it!?" Then he actually looked at the shorter man, and his eyebrows shot up into his hat, "Ooh, you look beat!"

Bilbo grumbled in response, apparently he had picked up a few of his captain's mannerisms while he was out. Bofur shrugged, "Why don't we go to the pub, yeah? Get a pint, you deserve a drink."

Bilbo didn't actually respond but Bofur was already dragging him away from his desk towards the door, he turned back, still holding onto the shorter man's arm. "Ey, Dwalin, want to join us? We'll be bonding, having a good bonding moment between coworkers."

"I've got paperwork to do, Bofur." Dwalin glanced up only for a moment at the man in the doorway. 

Bofur's tone was more teasing than disappointed as he spoke again, "That's a shame, I thought we had bonded a bit the past three days." Bofur winked. 

Dwalin's eye brow raised and he sighed noticeably, "Maybe later, Bofur."

And at that Bofur and Bilbo left the station, Dwalin looked up from the papers on his desk as they left watching the empty doorway with a curious expression over his hardened features. 

At the pub Bilbo nursed his drink while Bofur watched him carefully from across the table. He had been so excited to see his partner again but Bilbo just seemed grumpy and extremely tired. 

"So, tell me, what was he like?"

Bilbo sighed, taking a sip of his drink, "He's-- He's bossy-- Crass-- He's got a short temper and--" Bilbo leaned closer , whispering to his partner, "He's not a very good detective, I thought he would be but he just breezed through things and ignored everything I said." Bilbo recited bitterly, 

Bofur's eyes widened, "Well I figured that, I did-- But you did catch the man, yeah?"

"Yes, after he finally listened to me-- I kept telling him 'Thorin, we need to go back to those witnesses. You scared them with your horrible manner' but no, he wouldn't listen. Then I snapped and he gave in and humored me--" Bilbo threw his hands up in a statement, "Then we caught the guy in a few hours!"

"You snapped at him?"

"I snapped at him" Bilbo reaffirmed, "And he didn't fire me.."

Bofur thought about that for a few minutes, "No, he didn't fire you-- I wonder why?... Maybe he likes you." He took an absent sip of his drink while Bilbo gave him a skeptical look, 

"He doesn't like me, why would you even think that?"

"Well, you surprised him, you were a good detective and you didn't let him push you around and he didn't fire you so perhaps he's got a thing for short spitfires." Bofur suggested, Bilbo scoffed and shook his head. 

"That's ridiculous, Bofur, even for you." Bofur grinned evilly, sitting back in his booth and chuckling lightly to himself. "Ridiculous" He repeated.

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry this took so long to update and is so short! But comment if you like! :)


End file.
